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Straight Guys Also Need Lube
And a new company, Goodparts, wants to be the ones to sell it to them. No matter how you like to do it, sex is supposed to feel good, and few things can interrupt a good time like dick friction. While a little finesse and patience (and sometimes a little bit of spit) can get things going, the most obvious solution can also sometimes be an awkward one. Lube seems to carry a subtle but lurking stigma when it comes to its presence in the bedroom, at least for straight people like me. Many men I’ve gotten to know in the biblical sense are proud owners of, at best, an expired tube that has not seen the outside the nightstand drawer since Obama was in office. Which is a shame, because lube enhances sex for everyone if you can just get over the tiny hiccup of product placement before penetration. But that hiccup is real, and it's one of the reasons Dave Shanfield created his new brand Goodparts. “I get why straight guys haven’t been buying lube," he tells GQ. "There were brands that were targeting me as a gay man, but I never came across one that spoke to a more modern, less toxic version of masculinity that I could relate to—let alone a straight guy.” He mentioned a scenefrom Superbad where Jonah Hill’s character berates Michael Cera for bringing spermicidal lube to a party, saying their prospective 18-year-old hookup partners aren’t “dried-up old ladies,” they’re “good to go.” “A lot of men I spoke thought of it as a gay niche product, or just for butt stuff. Or they were quick to say ‘I don’t need lube’ or said that she should provide the lube if she wants it, which felt sort of backward to me,” Shanfield says. Anyone whose sexual awakening involved Hollywood or porn has likely subconsciously absorbed that sex typically doesn't involve any performance-enhancers. And in our post-”W.A.P.” era, the pressure to be good to go is elevated for both sides. Lube, despite being for sex, is often not a super sexy product. I’ve noticed that lots of new sexual wellness brands marketed towards women treat their lube offerings like skincare products. Then, Shanfield says, “There are the lubes that are targeting gay guys like me with pretty out-there names and ads depicting muscled-up naked dudes. These brands speak to a version of masculinity that doesn’t seem to really include guys like me and treat sex more like a kink or niche than a universal human experience.” A bottle of Goodparts lube is a welcome third way. It's cool but quietly branded, with a straightforward, lockable pump. It comes in two versions: the aloe-based Hydrating Organic and silicone-based Ultra-Smooth. Both are condom-friendly (though the Hydrating isn’t compatible with polyurethane condoms). The Ultra-Smooth is longer lasting and better suited for anal sex, but (like all silicone lubes) not a good match with silicone sex toys. Both will look great in your bedroom and make sex feel even better. Shanfield says creating a cool-looking and well-made product was a way of turning that potentially awkward conversation before sex into something sexy. “A lot of straight guys see [verbal consent] as an awkward, cautionary interruption in the natural flow of things," he says. "But for gay guys, it is the natural flow of things, since the roles can’t be assumed. Those conversations aren’t just about do you want to? but instead they go deeper: what do you want to do? What do you like? What makes you feel good?" Of course, it's not news that conversations about sex and pleasure often lead to more pleasurable sex. So for those feeling awkward about breaking out the lube, consider a different spin—asking your partner if they want to use lube is a clear sign that their pleasure is important to you. (This is never not extremely attractive.) Picking up good-looking bottle from a cool new company might help with that. The rest is up to your dirty minds. “It feels like there is so much to learn by sharing our different experiences and perspectives with each other,” says Shanfield. “I mean, it’s not like straight people aren’t having butt sex, too.”
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5 New Projects including Goodparts by ABD
Aiming to do away with taboo clichés in favour of encouraging an open, healthy sex life, Goodparts is US-made aloe-based lubricant brand that’s bridging the gap between sex and personal care. Taking on the challenge of devising its visual identity and packaging, New York-based creative collective ABD (Associates By Design) focused on making sexual products appealing to men of all kinds without feeling corny, clinical or feminine. The resulting design takes cues from contemporary skincare, sports and streetwear brands, combining clean canvases with witty copywriting and a straightforward graphic approach. The contrasting colour palette seeks to complement the multitude of dynamics that exist between different sexual partners, with some preferring a moodier, quiet atmosphere while others opt for fast-paced vibrant passion.
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The 16 Best Lubes for Anal Sex
When it comes to anal play, there's no such thing as too much lube. Lube is great for taking the friction out of all kinds of sex, but when it comes to anal sex, lube is absolutely essential. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't self-lubricate when you're turned on, which makes it difficult and painful to insert anything—from a pinky finger to a penis—without some extra help. But which lube works best for anal sex? There are sooo many different personal lubricant products on the market, but when it comes to anal sex, you want to use thicker lube that doesn't require constant reapplication, explains Alicia Sinclair, founder of sex toy brand b-Vibe. "Silicone lube is one of the best lubes for anal because it contains dimethicone, dimethiconol, and cyclomethicone," she explains. "This creates a consistency that is thicker and more 'buttery' than water-based lubes. Most people find that they prefer a thicker lubricant for anal play because it gives some extra cushion to protect delicate body parts." While natural oils (like coconut oil) and oil-based lubes have a thick consistency, too, they can erode latex, which is why Sinclair says: "It’s best to only use coconut oil or almond oil when condoms aren’t involved." But be careful about using silicone-based lubes with sex toys, she adds. "Using silicone lube on a silicone sex toy can cause bending, warping, and the ruin of a toy. Use a high-quality, water-based lubricant instead." When it comes time to whip out the lube for anal sex, use as much as the receiving partner needs to feel comfortable, says Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D., NYU professor of human sexuality and a sexpert for LELO. "Usually, especially for beginners, the more the better," she says. "I generally subscribe to the 'too much lube is almost enough' view when it comes to anal sex." Don't be afraid to reapply "as soon as it seems like it's drying out and there's more friction," Vrangalova adds. "Keep the lines of communication with the receptive partner open. Encourage them to let you know when they feel more is necessary." You'll notice the majority of lubricants on the list are silicone-based—the rest are either hybrids (meaning they're water- and silicone-based), or specific creams for anal stretching (i.e. fisting). FYI, the hybrids we included are safe for toy use and have a thicker consistency, which make them ideal for anal penetration.
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